I like that. I appreciate that Vitello explains what he means by being specific: "you have to say what you did." I also appreciate Vitello's clear instruction regarding recompense. This injury cost the offended party something. What is a possible healing response for the one who offended?
Relationships are often quite sticky. It can take considerable time to notice offenses I endure and offending behaviors of my own. Engaging in the process of reconciliation requires on-going discernment, of both the other's and my own untoward and unwise activities. As I work to honestly assess the relationship, I am able to change the patterns of interaction within the relationship.
When the door is open for rebuilding the relationship from a stronger foundation, I experience greater freedom, increased responsibility and a clearer sense of God's presence.
What have you learned about forgiveness? How do you forgive yourself and others? Does Lazare's instruction on forgiveness make sense to you?