When I read that, I thought of something I had read by James Carse a few years ago. It comes from his book The Silence of God: Meditations on Prayer. "Speak to God from your heart. If you speak from your heart you will speak to God and you will ask nothing less than life. But we close our eyes against our hearts, and instead of asking for life we pursue our desires for a different life, thereby asking for something we cannot have - because such asking is contradictory and therefore not asking at all" (56). Being present to what is is more significant than I had once understood.
So often I have spent myself trying to squirm away from the facts in my life. Recently I have tried to come to terms with the slow development of my spiritual direction practice. Sometimes I feel like I have retired, without ever having experienced a career, specifically the career I have only recently prepared for. This can feel disappointing. But then I thought, "Well, I learned a lot, feel much better and enjoy people so much more. How bad is that?" Not bad at all. When I look around, I see my life expanding comfortably. Knowing what I now know, feeling more like myself, and connecting more deeply with others is good enough.