Clarifying Peace
  • The Facts
  • Calling Mother
  • Spiritual Direction
  • Blog
  • poetry, story telling, and prayers
  • Essays and Papers
  • Contact

surprised by enough

12/2/2011

1 Comment

 
Harsh and hammering experiences can come from outside of ourselves or from within. Here are two examples. In the first I expected a harsh assessment and in the second I had so internalized harshness, that I was unnecessarily punishing of myself.

My husband and I have recently returned from a week in California with our daughter, my mother, and my siblings. My husband is the one in our household who pays the bills. When he had the time to tally our expenses and pay the top of the month bills, I was ready to hear a harsh assessment of our financial situation and that we would need to spend very carefully for the remainder of the pay period.

To my surprise, Jonny spoke without any harshness. He had balanced our checkbook and was able to report a good amount of money was left for this two week period.

Last August, when I presented to my peers in our group of spiritual directors, I had punished myself for having made a mistake with a directee earlier in the summer. Coincidentally, in the adjoining room, there was a repairman hammering nails into something for most of the hour. One member reflected that I was hammering myself, like the repairman was hammering on the wood. She asked me if I could I forgive myself for making a mistake. We all makes mistakes.

Like most people, I have been traumatized. Unfortunately, I have also mastered the art of traumatizing myself. Although I have been actively seeking healing for ten years, I am not used to the peace of mind, spirit, and body that the Risen One brings to me. I can experience it, but then it seems that a part of me readies myself for more of what I know so well. This is partly logical, for when we come to the Lord for healing, our circumstances don't change overnight. Yet, what a delight it is to experience having enough and being good enough.
1 Comment
    Picture

    Archives

    September 2022
    May 2022
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    April 2020
    October 2016
    August 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    December 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010

    Categories

    All
    A Beautiful Dress That Fit
    After We Die
    Artesian Well Spring
    Barker Dam
    Be
    Bearing The Responsibility Of Others
    Beautiful
    Body
    Butterfly Girl
    Calm
    Clean Daily
    Confession Of Sin
    Courage And Cowardice
    Couturier
    Dark Horse
    Darkness And Light
    Darkness Cannot Overcome Light
    Dock Gently
    Dog
    Enough And Enough
    Epiphany Work
    Game Of Conversation
    Generous Gifts
    Happy
    Healing Prayer
    Heart
    Held In Balance
    Holy Living
    Hydrofracturing
    Inner Work
    In Time
    I Will Not Carry
    Joshua Tree National Park
    Loss And Discernment
    Love
    Magi
    Making Peace
    Mavis Staples
    Name It
    Not Alone
    Nothing Is Lost
    O Come Let Us Adore Him
    Opportuntity To Persevere
    Orion Magazine
    Peaceful And Lucky
    Peonage
    Praying About Changes
    Rebirth
    Receiving The Gifts Of God
    Rest
    Seeds
    Seen
    Singing
    Sitting In Silence
    Sleeper Awake
    Slow Down
    Song
    Speaking And Listening
    Steingraber
    Strength
    Sunlight
    Telling Your Story
    The Help
    The Iron Thing They Carried
    Thought In The Form Of An Experience
    To Start Healing The Child In Me
    Transcendent Moments
    Transformation
    Trust
    Unconditional Love
    Unspoken Mantras
    Waiting
    Walking On Water
    Words

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.