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As I walked this morning, it came to me that the set of reflections in Calling Mother model life-giving options when we may need to be satisfied with just a phone call.
I have included several podcasts of portions from my book.
A book party at New York Ave Presbyterian ChurchOn January 19, 2020 the Spiritual Reading group of NYAPC hosted a book party for Kathy Hettinga and me. Jonathan welcomed everyone, introduced us, I read from my book, and Kathy brought us into her design process. Ann Bradley provided a wonderful lunch.
A couple of dozen folk came to support us. Thank you NYAPC! |
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In October of 2019, Byron Borger, owner of Hearts and Minds Bookstore in Dallastown, Pennsylvania, wrote a wonderful book review:
Calling Mother: Out of Darkness into Light Cathleen Cody Lauer (self published) $19.95 This wondrous book is a small, quiet gem, wonderfully crafted and creatively written. It is nearly a small art book – more than a poet’s chapbook – but glorious in that same, artful way; the paper quality is good and there are touches of color throughout. To have it in your hand is to realize you are experiencing something very special, owning a book that but for serendipity you may not otherwise even know about, and you will be glad. Perhaps offering an outright “thanks be to God” or a Nunc Dimittis. How did we even learn of this?
Cathleen has long been a supporter of our store and her husband, Jonathan, is a dear pal – he spent most of his professional career laboring as a librarian at Messiah College near us in central Pennsylvania. (And on occasion, teaching legendary courses on Bob Dylan.) Cathleen took up writing a decade or more ago and started to experiment with her craft – journals, memories, essays, poems, prayers, and more. About the same time she was learning to be a spiritual director, increasingly entering that world of ecumenical spirituality and contemplative reflections. And she wanted to write.
As she tells us in the beginning of Calling Mother she started using her phone calls with her colorful, elderly mother as a catalyst, a holy nudge, to pick up her pen. This new powerful collection of short essays and ruminations is the result.
I like very much that she utilized the extraordinary gifts of small bookmaker and graphic designer Kathy Hettinga to do the artful design work for Calling Mother. Hettinga has a brief afterward explaining some of the historically inspired doo-dads (okay, that’s not the word for these shapes that adorn the pages – they are actually Bodoni Ornaments from 1798 and the more modern (1997) Hypnopaedia. These touches – along with some exceptionally well-selected handwriting pages reproduced from Cathleen’s grandmother! – make this a delight to behold.
With the passing of my own mother a few weeks ago, I am sadder than I think I expected to be. I’m not sure why I need to write this to you other than to say that his poignant book is, as I’ve noted, a set of memories and creative writing pieces inspired by real conversation the author had with her aging mother and it has come to mean a lot to me, now. A few of the essays capture, in fact, good talks they had not long before Cecelia died. There is stuff here about calling home, about calling mom and it moves me just thinking about this holy ritual. Some of you know what I’m talking about. Although the lovely prose (and a few poems and prayers) about these calls will surely be appreciated and pondered by many readers – especially those of us with aging parents, or those of us interested in our parent’s own younger lives – it really is a mother/daughter book. It is about their relationship, more so, their conversations and, as one reviewer put it, the holy silences in the spaces.
Do you wonder what mindful conversations are really like? Would you like to deepen the habits of heart that allow you to ponder good talks with loved ones? Do you wish for deeper relationships with your own parents? This great little book documents an authentic relationship and is a beautiful artifact of those conversations. And the holy spaces. We are so pleased to commend it to you. Perhaps you might even give it to your own mother (or daughter.)
Calling Mother: Out of Darkness into Light Cathleen Cody Lauer (self published) $19.95 This wondrous book is a small, quiet gem, wonderfully crafted and creatively written. It is nearly a small art book – more than a poet’s chapbook – but glorious in that same, artful way; the paper quality is good and there are touches of color throughout. To have it in your hand is to realize you are experiencing something very special, owning a book that but for serendipity you may not otherwise even know about, and you will be glad. Perhaps offering an outright “thanks be to God” or a Nunc Dimittis. How did we even learn of this?
Cathleen has long been a supporter of our store and her husband, Jonathan, is a dear pal – he spent most of his professional career laboring as a librarian at Messiah College near us in central Pennsylvania. (And on occasion, teaching legendary courses on Bob Dylan.) Cathleen took up writing a decade or more ago and started to experiment with her craft – journals, memories, essays, poems, prayers, and more. About the same time she was learning to be a spiritual director, increasingly entering that world of ecumenical spirituality and contemplative reflections. And she wanted to write.
As she tells us in the beginning of Calling Mother she started using her phone calls with her colorful, elderly mother as a catalyst, a holy nudge, to pick up her pen. This new powerful collection of short essays and ruminations is the result.
I like very much that she utilized the extraordinary gifts of small bookmaker and graphic designer Kathy Hettinga to do the artful design work for Calling Mother. Hettinga has a brief afterward explaining some of the historically inspired doo-dads (okay, that’s not the word for these shapes that adorn the pages – they are actually Bodoni Ornaments from 1798 and the more modern (1997) Hypnopaedia. These touches – along with some exceptionally well-selected handwriting pages reproduced from Cathleen’s grandmother! – make this a delight to behold.
With the passing of my own mother a few weeks ago, I am sadder than I think I expected to be. I’m not sure why I need to write this to you other than to say that his poignant book is, as I’ve noted, a set of memories and creative writing pieces inspired by real conversation the author had with her aging mother and it has come to mean a lot to me, now. A few of the essays capture, in fact, good talks they had not long before Cecelia died. There is stuff here about calling home, about calling mom and it moves me just thinking about this holy ritual. Some of you know what I’m talking about. Although the lovely prose (and a few poems and prayers) about these calls will surely be appreciated and pondered by many readers – especially those of us with aging parents, or those of us interested in our parent’s own younger lives – it really is a mother/daughter book. It is about their relationship, more so, their conversations and, as one reviewer put it, the holy silences in the spaces.
Do you wonder what mindful conversations are really like? Would you like to deepen the habits of heart that allow you to ponder good talks with loved ones? Do you wish for deeper relationships with your own parents? This great little book documents an authentic relationship and is a beautiful artifact of those conversations. And the holy spaces. We are so pleased to commend it to you. Perhaps you might even give it to your own mother (or daughter.)
Quiet Day at St Luke's Episcopal Church in Mechanicsburg PA
October 26, 2019 Kathy Hettinga, the designer of my book, and I hosted a morning of contemplation. We used Calling Mother Out of Darkness into Light that we had self-published through Blurb. When I spoke with my mother I made brief notes of what she said that may have surprised me or an internal reaction of mine. Then I followed a thread or two picked up in our conversation as I wrote. This is essentially the way we were taught to write verbatims for the Kairos Spiritual Formation course. This tool, that taught me how to be in conversation with my mother without derailing her with my reactions, increased the quality of our relationship and let me see where God appeared.
Calling Mother Out of Darkness into Light, published and for sale through Blurb!
Reading at Midtown
Yesterday's reading was stupendous for me. I am grateful for Midtown Scholar's hospitality, Jonathan's consistent support, Howard's steadying editing and presence, Benno and Molly's love, and my many friends who came to listen. Thank you, everyone!
Calling Mother
In the fall of 2008 I looked for a writing prompt, something that would encourage me to practice the art of writing. Telephone calls to my Mother came to mind, so I began then to call when I had time to write reflectively afterward, catching my interior thoughts and feelings.
Here is the first essay entitled, Mother, written on October 10, 2008 and posted November 16, 2012.
Here is the first essay entitled, Mother, written on October 10, 2008 and posted November 16, 2012.
2 Honey in Our Mouth written on October 22, 2008. Posted December 26, 2012.
3 No Regrets Needed written on November 15, 2008 and posted December 26, 2012.
4. I Would Like to Come written on November 22, 2008 and posted on February 5, 2013.
5. Sophia written on December 15, 2008 and posted February 5, 2013.
6. Light and Darkness written on February 10, 2009 and posted February 28, 2013.
7. Bless Me written on May 17, 2009 and posted February 28, 2013.
8. Happy Birthday written on June 17, 2009 and posted on April 30, 2013.
9. Simple Gifts Exchanged written on July 8, 2009 and posted on April 30, 2013.
10. Talking with Mother written on June 7, 2010 posted May 1, 2013.
11. Mother, again Yesterday written September 19, 2010 and posted May 1, 2013.
Jude, an artist and poet, says, "I've read through the essays and I enjoyed them immensely . . . one of the things that affected me was the silence in the spaces; they provided me an opportunity to be with the Lord . . . the spaces are filled with the Spirit, the Holy Spirit."
Responses from Saturday's Reading at Midtown Scholar:
I think for me what drew me in was the power of the mindful loving approach to conversation. When one takes such an approach, it opens up possibility, because one discovers something about a relationship and can use these discoveries to take it to deeper levels. Much was added by the fact that you were reading them in person: like the difference between live music and a recording. And also the format naturally created interest in the way that good novels do because one felt that there was an interesting struggle of some kind in the past, and there was suspense because each phone call seemed to reveal a little more about what that was. Plus it made me wonder about being more mindful in my own approach to my parents. I know that they are not going to be around too much longer, so I'm spending more time with them, but I think I could increase the quality of that time. There are barriers because we have such a different way of looking at things, but I can learn from how you are overcoming such barriers.
Paul Van Arragon computer scientist, age 51, married, with two children and four parents
So fortunate to spend time at Midtown Scholar this afternoon for a reading from Cathleen's series of essays, Calling Mother. A deep look inside a mother-daughter relationship, and what is said or goes unsaid within families. I'm so thankful that she has found her voice and gives voice to many other generations of women in her family through this series.
Beth Transue, librarian
Cathleen did a beautiful job this afternoon reading from her series of essays based on conversations with her mother. Here are a few of them for those of you who are daring enough to spend some time reflecting on close relationships - what we hope for, what we miss, how we can find what was lost, and make peace with what was. Can't wait for more of these to come out and find their way into a book that touches hearts.
Sue Schmidt, worship facilitator, life coach and mother of three adult daughters
Paul Van Arragon computer scientist, age 51, married, with two children and four parents
So fortunate to spend time at Midtown Scholar this afternoon for a reading from Cathleen's series of essays, Calling Mother. A deep look inside a mother-daughter relationship, and what is said or goes unsaid within families. I'm so thankful that she has found her voice and gives voice to many other generations of women in her family through this series.
Beth Transue, librarian
Cathleen did a beautiful job this afternoon reading from her series of essays based on conversations with her mother. Here are a few of them for those of you who are daring enough to spend some time reflecting on close relationships - what we hope for, what we miss, how we can find what was lost, and make peace with what was. Can't wait for more of these to come out and find their way into a book that touches hearts.
Sue Schmidt, worship facilitator, life coach and mother of three adult daughters
Mother's response
I had spoken with Mother about writing after our phone calls a couple of times. I told her that I had gotten to share the essays with a warm group and more specifically, of Paul Van Arragon's sense that he could learn from me to try to increase the quality of the time he spends with his aging parents.
Mother replied, "I do want to be an encouragement."
She is and I am so proud of her.
Mother replied, "I do want to be an encouragement."
She is and I am so proud of her.
An amazing conversation with Mother two months before her death.
Mother died on November 28, 2013 after yet another fall.