If I have been denying or diminishing aspects of a relationship I may find I have a lot of catching up to do. Mary C. Grey has defined sin as "going against the connections with all life-systems, blocking, denying or destroying the life-giving connections." Sometimes I have been sinned against; other times I have sinned by blocking, denying or even destroying life-giving clues.
Acknowledging our desolations can be extremely difficult work. Jack Kornfield says "To bow to the fact of our life’s sorrows and betrayals is to accept them; and from this deep gesture we discover that all life is workable. As we learn to bow, we discover that the heart holds more freedom and compassion than we could imagine."